From the AGRI-NEWS, January 30, 2004

More on democracies and republics

The Best in the West editor sends a bushel basketful of thanks to Carl hand of Addison, New York, for sharing the following definitions of the various forms of government:

Communism. You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
Socialism. You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
Fascism. You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.
Nazi-ism. You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
Bureaucracy. You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
Capitalism. You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.

What happens in a democracy? In a democracy, everyone has two cows. Then a vote is taken and whatever the majority decides to do, you do, and that’s no bull!

Our founding fathers did not establish a democracy; they established a republic. Let’s use the same two cows to illustrate the difference:

In a democracy, you have two cows. A vote is taken among all the people—99% of whom never saw a cow and think milk comes from a supermarket. Whatever the majority decides you should do with your cows, you do-unless the government pays you not to raise cows, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain.

In a republic, you have two cows. You can sell one and buy a bull; have one or both cup up into steaks; or sell both and move into a condominium because, under a republic, each person has the inalienable right to do whatever he darn well pleases to do with his property. And that's no bull either. Around here, we call it LIBERTY.